Monday, November 14, 2005

Fall out

Just writing. Grammar aside (I know that puts a kink in some people...but I am just putting the verbage out there today.)
We can have some windy days in Northern CA. Sometimes it is hard to tell from which direction the wind is coming. It's kind of like my swirling thoughts. Today is 6 months. Not the sheer black hole of the first day or the fog of the first months...just a day. But not really. The 14th of any month taps me on the shoulder. I tend to feel like a fly on the wall those did this day get here?

When the military calls it's troops to order they say, "Fall in." It's time for order...perhaps a set of instructions. I find it hard to get in line on the 14th. No offense to anyone with a birthday on a 14th. I do believe one day I will be able to rejoice and fully embrace the fact that God received Michael into his arms on that day...that he had finished with God's plan and purpose for him here. I'm still pondering what it means to be "finished."

I did something pretty spontaneous today. It was definitely more spontaneous for the friend I had go with me (thanks J.M.!) We went to a presentation on "decluttering your life." Okay, I know some of you are laughing at (with?) me. Are you ready for this? It was in Berkley. One of the presenters is a Psychologist...the other an organizer. It was quite entertaining (after we found the place). I still cannot grasp with all the intelligent ORDER in the universe that people are afraid to give Energy a can't have INTELLIGENCE. Enough on that. I just don't get it.

The organizer lady was helpful. We pulled a few thoughts out of the mix and have some material we can perhaps try to implement. Maybe we'll find a little order in our semi-chaotic worlds. In the was neat to use an experience to be a stepstool to further discussions about all sorts-of-parts... of life. Thoughts of Michael wandered in and out of the sharing for different reasons.

One of the things we pondered was the idea of sanctification. (Okay, maybe a little theological reflection.) When one becomes a the risen Jesus...the Alpha and Omega as He calls becomes sanctified, "set apart." It doesn't mean we are perfect here...just look at me...duh...have a way long way to go...learn...change...obey... but it is the way God now sees one of His. (Doesn't that sound good....HIS.) Now there is also the sanctification that is mentioned throughout the New Testament that gives more of the understanding of our sanctification being a process. [If you care to...see 1 Peter 1:2, Hebrews 12:14, John 17:17] It is a process of our surrendering to God's plan for us. It is a discovery, perhaps, in the outcome of obedience.

IF you are still with me, I am pulling a few strings of thought together...that it is so important that we remain teachable....that we remain connected and learning. The organizer lady talked about clutter being unmade avoidance of decision-making. (OUCH). Perhaps sanctification is letting God bring some order to our lives. I know the thoughts get murky here. My son, bless him, just reminded me of the time...

I have a lot of choices to make. My friend asked me "What big choices are you facing right now?" Lots of good questions like that tonight. Fortunately, a lot of the BIG choices are done. But life is full of a lot more choices...for you and for me. There's the daily choice of following Jesus. There's a lot of mundane choices...everyday stuff...with consequences...not to mention big decisions that are not every-day picking out a headstone. (So who's favorite thing is THAT???)

Today I had one child still sick at home. Another I picked up from school after I had the van towed to the shop and bought oil, antifreeze, and wiper blades. There was still a bank deposit and the third fax to a bank (same issue)...all of these choices had or would have consequences if I chose to not do them. All the while my brain swirls with thoughts about thank-yous, and Christmas letters, and watering plants and what is Michael doing today?

Maybe the fall out of this lecture was a good thing. I tried to sanctify some time to learn something that might help me simplify my life...processing out the stuff about energy and today...a windy fall day...where God can sort out the thoughts and bring His fresh perspective on the day. NOT living yesterday or tomorrow...just today...the 14th.

Closing as oddly as I began,
Annie B.

p.s. Happy Birthday to my sister....on the 15th!
I gave away 3 shirts today. Thanks G.W...I'm almost ready to do another drawer. Both kids are feeling better this evening and my youngest watered the plants. "Order arms."
Many thanks to the Women's Council!!!


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