Sunday, January 01, 2006

New Year

New Year.
I pigged out on Buffalo wings (and pizza) with my daughter....after spending the day battling ants and thinking I may have broken my fridge. (my neighbor fixed my bumbling error.) My 3 boys ended up at parties. I did not feel like partying. My emotions are right in my throat. My mind is a whirliwind. Christmas cards have been such an encouragement. I cry for my saddness but my thoughts also turn to other friends. My dear friend C. who faces one year today...she has 8 she is raising. Also, D. and K. and A. and J. and 3 pastor's wives...

A thought comes to my mind just now. "Strengthened in the inner man." I believe God will strengthen me as we walk together through the new year. Please be honest with me when you are hurting. I will need you more than ever just now. Andy, what a BLESSING and encouragement to hear from you. I know those babies will bring you such joy. John--your notes were amazing. Thank you!

One son just came home. He said, "it is 2006! We have made it." I smile and cry. Yes, we have walked this far, but I am tender-footed about the new.

Thanking Michael for introducing me to Buffalo wings...with Blue Cheese...(a substance that as a child was like green eggs and ham...I would not eat it in on a train or in the rain...)

As we begin 2006. Heavy sigh....pause...losing it...composure to finish writing...

Michael writes--1-22-84 (a reflection on) Exodus 3:7-17 God's commission to Moses
"He is our completion, our adequacy. He sees our needs, knows them, and meets them in the best possible manner. He also requires us to "step out" and trust Him. v 16 "...I am indeed concerned about you...""

Willing to step out because I know He is are there. Grateful for both. Grateful for the gift of my husband. Grateful for Christmas with my family in Texas....little children, golf balls, swimming trips and an abundance of Mexican food...NOT a problem. Grateful for my father-in-law who diligently keeps up with the midst of his own grief.


At 9:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holding you up and praying your through this holiday season. I haven't stopped thinking about you and the kids this season. Always know that when you are too tired to stand you are being upheld by those who love you.


At 2:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Annie! My heart aches for you as I read your "journal" and I wish I could keep running my finger down from your forehead to your nose, like I did in San Diego this summer. You said Michael used to do that. I can just see your complex face right now. Hold on! Keep letting your family and friends lift you up. Don't feel guilty! gs (Love you!)

At 1:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so taken back by your words. I hear strength and comfort. Please know you are thought of and prayed for often. We miss him sooo much and will never forget his generosity to us, however short it seemed, it will be eternal in the end!


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