Thursday, October 18, 2007

Seen and Not Heard

Do you remember generations back saying children were better "seen and not heard?" Most younger generations think this was deplorable, although I'm sure there are parts of society that may very well still live with this notion. My point...grief is again a paradox.

Not seen and HEARD. Our loved one is not seen any more, but what we HEAR is the loss...we feel it and know it 24/7. We HEAR that you don't mention him/her. Culture eventually says, "get over it." Yes, eventualy we find our "new normal" but it is a different timing for each person and each situation. There are aspects that force the new normal quicker for some...but there is still the process of embracing the reality. There are parts of that reality that we can't experience until certain situations actually arrive. (i.e. a parent not being there for a significant ceremony...a ceremony which may be years away.)

I don't usually fault people for not mentioning a departed person...unless it is glaringly obvious. Sometimes jokes are made about "heart attacks" or some type of dying...we just have to get used to this. We probably even used phrases like these before our loved one died in (that) fashion. I still respond inside when people say things like "it almost shocked me to death." It'll be 20 years this December since my brother died from electrical current.

My oldest turns 20 this he went to the ER with rapid heart beat. How easy is it for his mom...and siblings to think one thing...from 300+ miles away...he's okay. "DOESN'T do a body good." [I know technically that is not a totally true statement, but you understand my meaning here...] I can't see my son, but I was sure glad to hear him and discern in his voice if he was really doing okay.

Have met some neat people this week...heard cool life stories, watched my daughter win her doubles tennis match (Grammy's genes), drove over to Stockton for my son's choir concert...(Michael's genes), continued the disguise of my "head of wisdom" (read: grey), worked at the office, paid bills, ate a pear, had a friend pray with me...oh...that was all today...or yesterday if you consider the time. And why, pray tell, am I up at this hour?

No one can see me and no one can hear me...except my Creator. He is good...all the time. And, even though you can't 'see' me on this blog...I hope that you can 'hear' that I appreciate you so much...and as I learn about your losses, know that I pray for you.

Appreciating you,


Post a Comment

<< Home