Thursday, November 16, 2006

Oreo Cookie Commandments

I found it! Remember me telling you about Michael's love for Oreo cookies? You just have to experience the deeply creative side of him! Here goes. (Also, I have more entries to come soon...this second year has been deeper on the emotional front. Thanks for your prayers.)

From a letter dated April 5, 1985…from Michael to his friend Annie…

Oreo Cookie Commandments
(You have to understand Michael was extremely creative. I can only imagine the conversations he now has with Jesus. I trust you will take no offense at his play on the 10 Commandments. He took God’s Word very seriously.)

While I’m thinking of it, there are some rules that govern the Oreo cookie its uses. Not many people are aware that God spoke to the prophet N.A. Bisco, outlining some commandments. I’ll quote to you from a recent archeological find. It comes from the Edward Ursus papyri, dated back to… well, that isn’t important. I quote…

And the Lord spoke to N.A. Bisco saying, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the sin of glazed doughnuts. I have given you the most holy of all Cookies to be consumed. Let it be known that these are not ordinary cookies. They are a chosen cookie, a royal wafer, a sandwich cookie of God’s own choosing.”
Thus saith the Lord, “These are the commandments concerning the Cookie.
I. Thou shalt regard the Big O above all other cookies.
II. Except, of course, homemade chocolate chip cookies, for there is purity in the chip made of chocolate.
III. Thou shalt not defile thyself by partaking of the heretical “Double Stuff.” It is a false doctrine from the Epicurean sect, which teaches pleasure in excess. Have I not commanded you to avoid excesses, but instead to be a sober and orderly people? The Book of Hesitations (between the Book of Maps and the Book of Armaments) says “Enough is enough; but more than enough is too much.” Hes. 4:19
IV. Thou shalt keep the Holy O pure by storing it in a container isolated from lesser cookies (for an exception, see the second commandment).
V. When partaking of the most blessed of cookies (the very manna left for the children of Israel!), thou mayest drink only milk (that’s why the Israelites were shepherds. They needed to keep a constant supply of milk for dunking their manna in).
VI. Coffee or tea may be acceptable, but only when milk is used in the vile substances, or when a proper penance has been rendered (a gift of Oreos or chocolate chip cookies to the needy is sufficient).
VII. Thou shalt eat they cookies in modest. Gluttony is a sin, although slam dunking is allowed with the proper supervision.
VIII. Sinking cookies to the bottom of thine glass of milk is vile and disgusting. It is only allowed on days ending with “y”.

The Cookie holds a high place in creation, but it is a creation and should not be worshipped. It was created to be enjoyed but not abused. Thus saith the Lord.”

Shared with sweet appreciation,

Annie B.

Pretty fun, yes? Have a blessed carefully the ones God brings through your life today. Happy Birthday to my sister who turned 40 today! Have an Oreo...